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tiny_faery's Journal
Created on 2008-05-26 17:22:30 (#15701836), last updated 2009-04-02
6 comments received, 78 comments posted
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Basic Info| Name: | tiny_faery |
|---|---|
| Location: | Los Angeles, California, United States |
BioI struggle with living with an eating disorder, specifically anorexia.
My mind has been warped and twisted for over 8 years now.
I'm 21 years old and am pursuing careers in acting and music, and I'm a full-time college student living in Los Angeles.
Up until about a year and a half ago, I was pursuing a career in dance as well, modern, ballet, etc, but I've since then let it go to pursue acting, music, and school.
A dancer's career is just too short.
I partly blame my lifelong training in dance as part of the reason I suffer from disordered eating and have a warped image of what my body should look like.
I constantly strive to be the best, perfect.
When I fail in that, or fear that I've failed, my world crashes down around me, leaving me in a hopeless dark hole.
I need help, but I don't want to accept it.
I hide my secret, and smile, cook, entertain.
I work hard, try to love life, and everyone thinks I am fine, while I am wasting away.
silently fearful, silently despising myself.
I am extremely passionate about what I do and what I strive to do.
I have this journal because I have no one else to talk to about this.
I've been successful in keeping things from my boyfriend, my band mates, my family and friends.
I have gone through periods of gaining a couple of lbs and trying not to think about food.
These periods of my life don't last long, and I ALWAYS find myself back at the same place again: terrified of food, terrified of gaining weight, and NEVER EVER EVER satisfied with myself.
I am underweight, current bmi @ 16.8, and I just don't know what I'm doing anymore.
feel free to add me if you are down for helping each other cope.
My mind has been warped and twisted for over 8 years now.
I'm 21 years old and am pursuing careers in acting and music, and I'm a full-time college student living in Los Angeles.
Up until about a year and a half ago, I was pursuing a career in dance as well, modern, ballet, etc, but I've since then let it go to pursue acting, music, and school.
A dancer's career is just too short.
I partly blame my lifelong training in dance as part of the reason I suffer from disordered eating and have a warped image of what my body should look like.
I constantly strive to be the best, perfect.
When I fail in that, or fear that I've failed, my world crashes down around me, leaving me in a hopeless dark hole.
I need help, but I don't want to accept it.
I hide my secret, and smile, cook, entertain.
I work hard, try to love life, and everyone thinks I am fine, while I am wasting away.
silently fearful, silently despising myself.
I am extremely passionate about what I do and what I strive to do.
I have this journal because I have no one else to talk to about this.
I've been successful in keeping things from my boyfriend, my band mates, my family and friends.
I have gone through periods of gaining a couple of lbs and trying not to think about food.
These periods of my life don't last long, and I ALWAYS find myself back at the same place again: terrified of food, terrified of gaining weight, and NEVER EVER EVER satisfied with myself.
I am underweight, current bmi @ 16.8, and I just don't know what I'm doing anymore.
feel free to add me if you are down for helping each other cope.
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External Services:
 | tiny_faery@livejournal.com |
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balletdancer19, crissy_prissy, fattyeyttaf, katieeex05, kaykaylasoi, litlj7, lookinglonely, placidpatience, pure_sunlight, sadeyedartist, sadpie, samlamb, streetlights09, tammbabe, thinspozee, tiny_faery, whatfuture
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